Getting Poor Reception?


We always hear that it is better to give than to receive, but can one actually be a BAD gift ‘receiver’?!

Our friend Debbie went looking for a birthday gift for her friend, Sara.  She searched several stores before finding what she thought was the perfect gift:  a long necklace with gorgeous turquoise beads – Sara’s favorite stone!

Sara opened the gift and immediately commented on the beautiful the shade of greenish-blue.  Then Debbie said, “Great – I’m so glad you like it!  The second I saw it,  I could totally see you wearing it!”

Sara held the gift up to her neck and said “The only thing I would change is I’d make it shorter — I think it would be much cooler if it were choker length…  I’ll go and get a new clasp tomorrow.  Thank you so much, Debbie!”

Debbie confided in us that she felt a bit put off by her friend’s reaction.  Sure, Sara had commented on how much she loved the color.  However, she wasn’t paying Debbie to be her personal shopper.  Debbie had given her a gift, and she felt Sara’s reaction was cheap — ie – she was focusing on what she would do to get an item she wanted, rather than reacting graciously to Debbie’s thoughtful gift.

Some of our friends thought Debbie was being too sensitive….some of us thought Sara wasn’t being sensitive enough. So what do YOU think?  Is Sara a ‘cheap receiver’ or does Debbie just need to toughen up?  Was saying something in the moment better than wearing the altered necklace in front of Debbie in the future without having said a word?  Could Sara have told Debbie her jewelry makeover over plans differently so Debbie’s feelings weren’t so hurt?  Or should she not have divulged them at all? Tell us your thoughts!

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2 Responses to “Getting Poor Reception?”

  1. Jess says:

    This is a topic that really irks me. If someone is NICE enough to give you a gift, be gracious. You are right, it is not something from a personal shopper, it is a gift. Show your appreciation and if you want to alter do it latter. No reason to mention it when you open the gift. This is the time to be GRACIOUS!!! I don’t think changing the length later would be an issue. If the different length is noticed, simply say you found this length showed off the necklace better. When opening gifts you should be very grateful, not critical. Someone has bought something really special and given it to you with love and to make you happy. When you show you are not happy, it is hurtful and insulting. Why would you want to do that? Sara is a cheap receiver!!!

  2. Erin says:

    Jess is right, this is the reason people now give gift cards! Everyone is afraid they will buy the wrong thing and the person will return it or worse regift it, people need to be less greedy and more gracious when it comes to receiving gifts. Although, what do you do if you really don’t like the gift? I got a surprise gift (ie something I didn’t ask for) a few Christmas’ ago from my boyfriend, it was a gold (yellow) flower pendant with the petals made from amathyst (my birthstone) and the center was encrusted mini diamonds, at first I was caught off guard by the gift because I wasn’t expecting it and I usually don’t wear yellow gold, but I thanked him profusely and told him I loved it. After a few days of wearing it I fell in love, now it is my most precious piece of jewellery and I harldly ever wear anything else! The thought that went into the choosing of this gift made it all the more special, sometimes it takes awhile for the shock of the gift to wear off and you realize how much it means!

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