Giving Money as a Gift
Giving a money gift is not just reserved for your wealthy uncle. In fact, many couples much prefer the gift of cash to help them start off their nest egg. However, many people feel 
they need to slip more into the envelop than they would spend otherwise on a boxed gift. The truth of the matter is: if you feel that a money gift would be more meaningful and helpful to the couple, but you wish you could afford more, include a heart felt card and expect any amount you can give will be most appreciated!
The Destination Wedding
Destination weddings are unavoidably expensive for the guests. Our advice: if you can’t afford to go…DON’T! The bride and groom NEED to understand that not everyone can afford to come. However, if you DO have the means to turn your friends nuptials into a fun reunion and vacation, then you probably can afford to buy them a gift? The couple should not suffer because you spent too much on a vacation you couldn’t afford. But every scenario is different, and if money is truly an issue, talk to the bride and groom and be honest about your situation.
Budget Your Yearly Gift Giving
Most weddings are planned well in advance and guests know for months to a year ahead of time. If you know you have a lot of wedding gifts to buy for the year, make sure to budget for them and plan ahead. That way, you won’t feel the sting of ‘suddenly’ having to spend more than you have in the bank because you have actually saved for it! Most of us don’t plan for gift buying, but WE SHOULD. Planning ahead will not only help you feel less stressed about money expectations, but you actually WILL be less strapped for cash when the time comes to buy the gift. Plus, you’ll feel like a rock star for giving your friends a gift you know they’ll love!
We know, we know, it sounds so cliche — but it really is the thought that counts. So think about this: if you have a question spending money on a gift, it is better to err on the side of generosity than feeling like you’re being cheap! The important thing to remember is that the actual dollar amount you start with must be based on your own financial situation – not everyone will have a $100 (for example) starting point. Pick a number that fits in your budget – and don’t spend hours agonizing over if you should spend $10 bucks more or not. For a special occasion like this, we recommend being more Fab than Fru– as long as you don’t go into debt doing it!
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Great article, but I have to disagree with one point– if you’re going as a couple, and it’s a fancy wedding, I think you have to give a bigger gift. It costs a couple (or their folks) double to have you and a guest attend, and there’s no reason that two people should give less of a gift than those same people would give coming separately.
Ok, so who should I make the check out to? The couple or the parents that footed the bill? If the parents are paying, do they expect the newlyweds to fork over all of the cash to pay the bill? Just wondering why some are suggesting your gift should cover the plate. Are parents financing their childrens weddings with the expectation of repayment?
No one is making you do anything, just like no one is making you pay gratuity at a restaurant or say thank you if somebody does you a favor. It’s just social norms of courtesy. As for who foots the bill, why does it matter? If the parents are paying for you to be there, you don’t have to, but most people do, express gratitude by giving gifts to their children. If you were throwing your child a birthday party and one kid didn’t bring a gift, you’re not going to get pissed off or expect that kid to repay you–maybe you might wonder why the kid isn’t following basic social norms (you can disagree with it all you want, but it IS social norm to bring gifts to a birthday party. Even if you’re piss poor you can at least come up with a thoughtful gift instead), but certainly you wouldn’t be expecting repayment.
Great information! I’ve been looking for something like this for a while now. Thanks!
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I don’t think its necessary to spend too much on a gift. About $100 seems fair to me, maybe more or less depending on how well you know the couple getting married.
Great article. One comment — if the wedding is in a big city (i.e., NYC, LA, DC, Chicago), it is likely costing more than $100 per person. So, $100 is a minimum acceptable to barely cover the cost of the wedding. If you actually care about the couple and want to be generous, give them more than the cost for you to attend.
Hey great to see another post from you – keep up the good work!
good choices.
As a recent bride from California (as well as recent graduate grad), I can attest to the high cost of a wedding, but can understand the financial constraints on wedding gifts for some guests. Creative gifts such as photoshopped wedding photographs after the ceremony or baking cookies as party favors are not only thoughtful but practical. However, I will have to disagree on the group gifts idea though as they complicate the organization process for the couple when they return from the honeymoon.
I don’t understand why the cost of the wedding should at all apply to the gift. Just like for our wedding, the event choices are either that of the bride and grooms or their parents. We usually don’t go to weddings because we need something more exciting for us to doe. People need to get a change of attitude. Weddings are held to celebrate the union – not to make a bunch of money to pay themselves back for hosting a party that they choose to host. It just amzes me that people have such high expectations of the gifts, when they should just be happy to be able to share the day with friends and family. Why is this such a strange idea any more?
Amen!!