The Price Of A Destination Wedding

I love going to destination weddings, but let’s face it- although they’re tons of fun- they’re also typically a pricey proposition for a guest.

Our friend Secily just found out her college roommate is getting married at a resort in Bermuda over Fourth of July weekend.  It’s a smallish wedding and the bride is so excited for Secily and her boyfriend to finally meet her husband to be.  Of course, Secily would love to be there for her dear friends big day, but the bride has only given her guests a couple of months notice to financially and logistically plan for her Caribbean nuptials.

The truth is, although Secily can afford to go to the wedding, she and her boyfriend are saving to buy a house this Fall.  It would be a financial stretch for both of them to attend the wedding, and Secily is uncomfortable going alone.  To make matters more complicated, her boyfriend has already casually invited  some friends from New York to their Boston apartment for July 4th weekend.

Secily calculated the the costs of a peak season Bermuda get away, and concluded that attending her friend’s wedding would put a dent in her down payment plans- not to mention feeling bad having to cancel on her own guests. But when Secily told her friend that they wouldn’t be able to make it, her friend got extremely upset and told her that she would never in a million years miss Secily’s wedding- no matter the price!   Secily was stunned…

Is Secily being cheap or frugal by not attending her friend’s wedding?  Is she wrong to jeopardize her friendship for the sake of saving money?  Should she consider a middle ground solution and just go alone?  Or do think it’s presumptuous of the bride to assume that her friend can afford such an expensive last minute trip?  How do you feel when you’re invited to a destination wedding?  What is the proper expectations to have of your guests if you yourself are planning a destination wedding?  Should close friends feel obligated to attend- no matter the cost?  Tell us what you think!

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3 Responses to “The Price Of A Destination Wedding”

  1. ShopEatSleep says:

    The bride is being unreasonable. She can’t assume even her closest friends to fork over that kind of dough for her wedding — I know I wouldn’t. I’m getting married next year, and if one of my invited guests told me it wasn’t financially feasible to come to my wedding, I would totally understand. Sometimes brides get too wrapped up in their own little worlds that they can’t see the bigger picture. Hopefully Secily’s friend realizes this; otherwise, I would tell Secily to forget it altogether.

  2. The bride is being pretty unreasonable. It’s BERMUDA. That’s an indulgence in most people’s books, you can’t automatically assume that everyone can make it. It’s not personal, Secily just can’t afford to go. Not personal, and a friend should be able to understand that.

  3. Clarise says:

    Not everyone can afford to do everything they would like to do. The expense of a trip to Bermuda is a lot to expect someone to spend just to attend your wedding. Also, I think the bride is being unreasonable and and unfair to put this much pressure on her friend. On the other hand, I don’t think having friends visit for the weekend should have any impact on her decision not to go to the wedding. Friends wedding trumps a casual invitation for a weekend, even a holiday weekend.

Any Thoughts?