Money And Domestic Abuse

by Brandi Savitt – March 11, 2011

Recognize the Signs & Get Help

Domestic abuse is not a topic that anyone of likes to think about, but the truth is about one in four women in the United States will fall victim to domestic abuse at some point during her lifetime.  While most people tend to associate abuse with physical violence, emotional and financial abuse are often overlooked, but are equally as controlling and dangerous.

Money often plays a huge role in abusive relationships, and no one is immune.  Domestic abuse can happen to anyone of us.  It has nothing to do with your age, economic status, education, race or religion.  Learning how to recognize the signs to help yourself or those you love is the first step in getting help.

What Is Financial Abuse?

Financial abuse often accompanies other forms of abuse, and therefore is frequently overlooked.  When an abuser manipulates their spouse or partner with money, the victim often becomes dependent and fearful- feeling that they have no choice but to stay in their relationship.  Here are some of tactics abusers use to financially control a partner:

  • Controlling all financial decisions
  • Withholding money & access to financial accounts
  • Preventing someone from attending work or college
  • Making it difficult for a person to keep a job by interfering with work performance through harassing and monitoring activities like frequent telephone calls or visits to your workplace
  • Demanding money earned by a person to be handed over
  • Holding on to credit cards, debit cards or check books
  • Controlling bank accounts, telephone or computer access
  • Running up debts in a person’s name
  • Keeping Child Benefit or money allocated for bills and groceries for personal use
  • Giving gifts, but expecting things in return
  • Making a person account for every penny they spend
  • Stealing the identity of victim
  • Stealing money or property from the victim or their family
  • Forcing a person to file fraudulent tax claims
  • Withholding physical resources including food, clothes, medications or shelter
  • Forcing a person to work in a family business for little or no pay
  • Refusing to work to help support the family
  • Justifying their controlling behavior as appropriate for their culture or religion
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4 Responses to “Money And Domestic Abuse”

  1. Lori says:

    Wow!! Great tips. It is hard to make the right moves to get out of the relationship…but well worth it!!!

  2. fab & fru fan, maryland, usa says:

    This is one of the most important articles fab & fru has published. There are many women who have no idea that there is a name for this type of abuse and there are resources available to help them. I have suffered from financial abuse from a former partner and it began right after we became engaged. Thankfully I was able to end that relationship but it was a very painful time, once i realized what was happening and then after I let him go. I consider the money I lost a small price to pay for the lessons learned. Thanks for shedding some light on what folks in it may consider embarassing or shameful. The shame belongs to the perpetrator, not the victim.

  3. Sue says:

    Thanks for the good advice and for the information that always keeps us informed!!!!

  4. The Prisoner of Privilege says:

    My S550 was reposessed this morning…leaving me with no car…George has a Porsche Cayenne in my name and a Taureg purchased durring time if marriage. My 785 credit score is ruined… he wanted me to…now I am no longer in the prison where I had everything.

Any Thoughts?