That Gift Is No Longer Yours To Keep!


Last summer (11 months and 3 weeks ago to be exact) Laurie and Thomas had a gorgeous destination wedding on a farm in rural Pennsylvania.  Their friends and family traveled far and wide to attend the joyful nuptials, and the happy couple couldn’t have been more in love.

Thomas’s best and oldest friend in the world, Marcy, arrived to the wedding with a giant box filled with the entire set of hand blown wine glasses that Laurie had been drooling over when Marcy had helped her register for gifts.  Because Marcy knew how much Laurie (and Thomas) loved the wine glasses, she decided to splurge and get them all.

As the months began to pass after the wedding, Marcy saw less and less of the newlyweds.  And finally, eleven months after the wedding, she received a lovely and gracious thank you note from Laurie thanking her for their favorite gift of all.  But then, just one week later, Thomas called Marcy to tell her that Laurie had moved out and was leaving him for another man! — She also took the wine glasses with her…

Shocked and heartbroken for Thomas, Marcy emailed Laurie to see what was going on.  When she got no reply, Marcy sent another email asking Laurie to return the expensive glassware to her immediately.  After all, the marriage didn’t even last a year…

Because their marriage only lasted a short time, is the couple obligated to return their gifts to the rightful gift givers?  Does Marcy have any right to ask for her gift back?  What would you do?  Tell us what you think!

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5 Responses to “That Gift Is No Longer Yours To Keep!”

  1. Savanah says:

    I don’t think Marcy has the right to ask for it back. A gift is a gift.

    Too many marriages last such a short time today, but it doesn’t change the fact that it was a wedding gift & they did go through with the wedding…

  2. Terri says:

    NO!!! For heaven’s sake, nobody sends a gift that expires if you are not married a certain amount of time. I don’t care what the manners experts say…once you give a gift, it is no longer yours to take back.

  3. Sarah says:

    Too much time has passed at that point. Any pans, blenders, etc would most likely be used by then. Should they really be boxing up and mailing across the country used items? I don’t think so. It’s unfortunate and annoying, but the guests have to accept that marriages don’t always last.

    Specifically to the wine glasses, I guess she has a right to ask for them, if she wants to use them. Though it seems a little petty and strange. I doubt she will get them back and even if she does, what horrible memories to have when using them.

  4. Parker says:

    She absolutely has no right to ask for the gifts back. It was a GIFT. To celebrate their WEDDING (which happened). If the wedding never took place, then the gift to celebrate that event should be returned. But it did take place, and gifts don’t promise happily ever after. If the marriage had lasted 3 years, would she only want half the glasses back? C’mon. Marcy has no right here what-so-ever, and it was beyond ridiculous, let alone couth and decorum for her to ask for them back. Frugal ≠ cheap with bad manners.

    The only problem here is potentially with Thomas. If he wants to enjoy and share those glasses when entertaining in the future as they were a gift to him from his close friend; then it is for him to work out with Laurie – just between him and Laurie – that he should receive those glasses in their split of marital property.

    • Jiminy Drambuie says:

      Parker is absolutely right. A wedding gift with strings attached (your marriage must work out; your marriage is invalid unless it reaches a certain duration), is no “gift”at all. It sounds like what Marcy gave her friends for their wedding was a bribe.

      It’s too bad she “splurged” on something that didn’t work out, but it was her choice to do so – and, as in any purchasing situation, caveat emptor!!

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