Owning the Choices We Make
After being out of the dating circuit for much of 2011, I recently went to dinner with a man who halfway into the meal looked at me in the eye, smiled and asked, “How is it that a girl like you hasn’t been married yet?” While I think this was meant to be a complement, as a woman in her mid thirties (okay, late thirties), my reaction was more that of shame rather than feeling flattered. Honestly, I just simply hate that question. And this guy actually wanted an answer!
I instantly felt like a teenager getting caught sneaking into the house after curfew, and all of the blood in my body rushed into my cheeks. And while my mind raced to formulate an answer that didn’t sound cliche, he said the dreaded super cheesy words anyway – ” Is it because you’ve been focusing too much on your career?” Oh c’mon, seriously man…!
He of course had already been married and divorced, as if it were a modern day badge of honor. Did I miss the boat by not marrying the wrong person at least once, rather than choosing to wait for Mr. Right?
I Don’t Know How She Does It
Speaking of modern day cliches about women… I then woke up this morning only to hear a movie critic bash Sarah Jessica Parker’s new movie “I Don’t Know How She Does It”. The over told tale of a high powered working mom trying to juggle her career, her kids and her marriage without falling apart or having the time to enjoy any part of her life. Will this be my life when I do get married and have kids? No thank you. Is entirely over extending yourself the only way you can have it all? …Maybe they should rename the movie “I Don’t Know WHY She Does It.”
The Choice Is Yours
The truth is we all make choices, right? Some are for money. Some are for love. And some are for happiness. The bottom line is, there are very few things that we do in life that do not involve choice – even when something happens that is out of our control. The choices we make shape who we are, and that’s a beautiful thing if you allow yourself to be aware of it. Even when we are feeling overwhelmed or wishing something in our lives would change, realizing it is our own choices that have gotten us to where we are today is empowering. It means we have the power to change and grow. It helps us open our eyes to what we already have. This all may be veiled as the plight of the modern woman, but the message is age old – think “The Wizard of Oz”…
The Grass Isn’t Necessarily Greener…
So, whether you are a stay at home mom wishing you were a CEO, a working mom who feels guilty you don’t spend enough quality time with your kids, or you’re a single career woman trying to decide if it’s time to settle down, it is human nature to want more — and in this day and age to sometimes want less… So, take a moment and stop stressing out. You’re not doing anything wrong. But, if you want something to change, start by looking at all that you already have and be grateful. The way we look at the world is everything. And the choice is yours.