Something’s Not Registering


by Stephanie Berenbaum – January 15. 2013

Our friend Liza recently got engaged – and, like most brides to be – had the best time registering for wedding gifts.  However, once her friends got hold of her registry, they were slightly taken aback.  In addition to her china and crystal, there was a $1500 cappuccino maker on the list!

Apparently, Liza put the costly coffee maker on there thinking that perhaps a group would want to go in on it together.  While some of her friends thought it was a great idea- others thought it was truly tacky to put something that expensive on a wedding registry.  So – do you agree with the bride – or do you think there should be an upper limit on what is appropriate to ask for?

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6 Responses to “Something’s Not Registering”

  1. Susan says:

    My feeling is that couples or brides can register for whatever they want but they need to realize that they may not get it. (For instance, a groom I know registered for an iPad and I chose the silver frame for $50 instead of the iPad for $500.) It’s always a good idea to include items at multiple price points for those on a budget. For instance, they should balance out the cappuccino maker with some less expensive hand towels or throw pillows. If they don’t register for lower-priced items, their guests may go off the registry and choose lower priced items themselves.

  2. louie says:

    I think this is quite humorous. Maybe if Liza was a guy, she might have listed a Ferrari, in hopes that her Bud’s would all chip in? I hope someone has the sense of humor and nerve to give her a $50 Gift Cert. to Starbucks with a note telling her she’s 3% there. On the other hand, maybe she has some well to do relatives that could easily afford a gift like this and she’ll be pleasantly surprised. In any case….Bad Form….

  3. Molly says:

    I don’t think it’s bad form at all. A wedding registry is simply a list of what household items the couple would like. It would be rude if they didn’t register an assortment of items at all price ranges so that people can select items within their budget.

    Lou, I usually agree with your POV, but this isn’t like a Ferrari, and I think that giving a $50. GC and saying you’re 3% there is rude.

    If EVERY item on the list were $1000. and up, then yes, it wouldn’t be very nice and the couple should be prepared to get a lot of unasked for items.

    But there’s nothing wrong with listing something pricey. Who knows, maybe there’s a relative who wants to spend that much?

  4. Donna says:

    I think the whole registry thing is in pretty bad taste, not something that really gets done in England where I got married, but seems to be the thing here in US where I live now. I really find the entire wedding business to be in pretty poor taste, so many people are more interested in the wedding than being married, it’s all about what they can get. Asking for a $1500 item is just rude.

  5. Simone says:

    Donna,

    Wedding gift registry is certainly done in England. Even Amazon has a system where Americans can buy wedding gifts for their UK friends with ease. I’ve done this for a few UK weddings in the past few years.

    Besides, even if it weren’t done in England, it’s been done here for hundreds of years. Just because it isn’t your custom, doesn’t make it a rude one. You think the wedding couple should end up with a “set” of china, crystal and silver that are all from different patterns? I personally would rather not guess what the couple wants, and want them to have something they’ll love. I registered for a breadbaker and one friend got it for us. I still think of them whenever I use it and I’ve been married for 15 years now.

    A wedding registry is not in poor taste, it’s a huge help. If you’re invited to a wedding, there’s no mention of it. If’s the gift buyers themselves that will ask “Where are you registered?”. If you get invited to a wedding and would rather not choose something from the registry, you’re free to ignore it. Putting a $1500. item on the list isn’t rude – for all you know the bride was told that one of the relatives wants to get her something in that price range and so be sure to select something. I’m sure there were lots of items in the $100. range – or even less – on the registry. The bride isn’t *asking” for a $1500. item – she’s simply posting her wish list and all wedding gift buyers are free to pick and choose their selection.

    The wedding BUSINESS is in poor taste? Yes, I’ll agree with that. I can remember shopping for flowers and asking a price and got a fair quote. As soon as I mentioned that they were for a wedding, the price jumped significantly. Same thing happens for dresses, liquor, hair stylists,bands, etc. Yes, it’s a shame that vendors take advantage.

    More people more interested in the wedding than being married? I think you’re way off base and spouting some personal anger there.

  6. Ms. Lici says:

    I dont think it is anything wrong with asking. A registry is just a list of items the couples want. Its not like along with the invite there was a note that said ‘You are required to purchase gift line item 12 for the couple.’ WHen I see things on a registry for more than what I am willing to pay for an item, I buy a giftcard to the store in which it is carried. That way if they really really want the item the giftcard can go towards it and they can buy it themselves. Groups of family members and friends are known to quite often pitch in for big ticket items.

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