by Brandi Savitt
What’s Your Price for Love?
We’re all familiar with the stereotypes: many women find the idea of dating a potential penny pincher totally unappealing, while many men live in fear of falling for the woman who is looking to marry for money. And while we poke fun at the stereotypes of the tight wad and the gold digger, the reality is people’s attitudes surrounding money are a HUGE factor in a relationship – even (or especially!) in the beginning.
Take our friend Jane. Before getting set up on a blind date, she always asks about the guy’s financial condition. At first some of our friends thought she was being very materialistic, but actually we realized she was just being realistic!
She knew she didn’t want to be the breadwinner or date a starving artist, and that was in her list of non-negotiables. Being honest with yourself – and your potential mate – about money from the start can save you lots of heartache in the long run. You don’t want to know how many of our friends have learned this from experience!
Before you know if you’re financially compatible with your love interest, you must first understand what’s important to you! What are your ambitions for your career and having a family? How do you feel about being the breadwinner? Are you a saver or do you spend like there’s no tomorrow? Are you generous or stingy? Would it bother you if someone else was? Do you expect to stay home if you have kids, or do you plan to go back to work? Do you assume your offspring will attend prestigious private schools, or are you a public school kinda gal?
As your relationship grows, you need to think and talk about money matters, what makes you feel secure, and, of course, be honest about it! The better you understand yourself, the better you’ll be able to recognize when someone shares your similar value system. The key to avoiding serious disagreements about money and finances in the future is to make sure your values are on the same page from the get go! We’ve all seen studies on money being the number one cause of divorce – don’t let yourself become another statistic!| Print
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