Wedding Regrets – Part One

by Kathy Pape – updated July 12, 2013 

- Wedding season is in full swing!  Just the time to revisit our friend Kathy’s advice about what NOT to spend on your big day. And yes, there are so many tips we just don’t have room for all of them in one article!  So here it is – part one…

Wedding Bells To Wedding Bills

When I was first married in 2000 my dad offered to give me cash for a down payment on a house.  I was all for it, but my mother insisted that I have a huge lavish wedding with the big silk dress.  I still remember that day, and yes – it was a lot of fun.  But honestly, I keep in touch with about 10 percent of the people, and unfortunately, my marriage only lasted five years.  Looking back, it was not money well spent!

My second marriage however, was an intimate affair in Las Vegas with a lovely, small reception in a suite overlooking the strip.  And you know what? It was just as much fun as my first wedding! The truth is, every girl we know who has walked down the aisle will tell you: there are certain things they regret spending money on!

Order a Dummy Cake

sheetcakeTo this day, I shudder when I think about how much my parents shelled out for wedding cake #1.  I mean it was good, but it wasn’t that good…

Stacie Francombe, a wedding planner from has a great, sneaky way to get around spending a fortune on your cake.  She suggests having the base layer be real & delicious, and decorate the upper tiers to match using a “dummy” cake.  This will cut down the cost dramatically.  –And don’t worry about having enough cake.  If you have a large guest count, order a sheet cake to serve after the cake cutting!

Save Your Feet

Several Fab & Fru Facebook fans said they spent too much money on uncomfortable shoes – we feel your pain!  Ladies, first thing to think about – will anyone even be able to see your shoes? Yes, you might feel like more of a princess knowing you are wearing $400 satin pumps, but is it really worth the splurge if no one else notices?

Steph’s friend Tamar had the best wedding footwear she’s seen yet.  Tamar wore hightop sneakers under her floor length gown!  Not only could no one see them anyway, but she was the only bride we know who was truly comfortable dancing the night away!

Ditch the Table Cameras

One reader, Samantha Betts, tells us her biggest regret was buying table cameras. Seriously, ladies: think about the  photographers you are “hiring” when you give your guests the freedom to snap & shoot!  Most of them will have had a few too many drinks and snap blurry photos of people eating, pictures of people with their heads chopped off and nice dark pictures you can’t even see since they forgot the flash.

Samantha spent about $100 on the cameras and then another $90 to develop pictures she will never use.  Stick with the professional photographer!

Skip the Engraved Invitations

Several of our friends mentioned regrets about having the invitations engraved.  Yes, it may be the traditional and proper way to go, and yes – they are beautiful.  But in this day and age, few people notice, expect – or even care – if your invites are engraved.

There are so many stationary options out there right now that weren’t available in our parents’ day (including printing our own invites at home!) that this is one expense to think twice about before splurging.  Though you might have your invite tucked away to keep forever, the reality is pretty much everyone else has thrown it away in a matter of weeks!

- Kathy’s “Part One” advice alone could easily save you thousands of dollars! Stay tuned for part two next week.  And thank you to Kathy Pape for the very Fab & Fru advice!

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2 Responses to “Wedding Regrets – Part One”

  1. Summer says:

    I agree with all of this. And have to add, if you really want those “candid” shots, almost everyone has a smart phone. Set up a website where they can upload their candid’s of your special day and if there are some winners…get those.

    I had one wedding, I’m still married 25 years later…and I still think the money would have been better spent on travel or a home.

  2. Simone says:

    Totally disagree with the shoe recommendation. If you buy $400. shoes they should be comfortable. It’s usually the cheap “satin” ones that are made with cardboard and plastic soles that brides opt for “because I’m only going to wear them once”, and then they look ghastly on their wedding day limping around and either complaining about their feet or going barefoot. Totally classless.
    Buy a well made, comfortable pair of satin pumps with a heel height that works for you. I’m comfortable all day in a 3′ heel so that’s what I bought. If you can only wear flats, then buy dressy flat satin pumps. Just stay away from the cheap stuff that’s guaranteed to hurt no matter what the heel height is. Also WEAR THEM for weeks before the wedding. Every night, wear them around the house for an hour or two, this will break them in and make sure they’re comfy by the wedding day. I spent over $250. on my wedding shoes, and that was 20 years ago. After the wedding, Sak’s dyed them black for me and I had them as black satin dress shoes that served me well for years. I even bought some crystal shoe ornaments for when I wanted them even dressier. Unfortunately, the heel and toe shape went out of style as they stayed comfortable and in good condition for many years after the wedding.

    My husband and I had a Sat night black tie wedding and loved every moment of it and don’t regret doing it. We kept the costs down by not inviting everyone we ever knew. We invited about 100, figuring that about 20% wouldn’t be able to make it, which was perfect. We had 8 tables of 10 people at each, which made it festive yet still intimate.

    We also saved money by having the ceremony and the reception in the same place. The Rabbi came to us, and the hotel had a smaller room for the ceremony, and then the reception was through a door. So we saved on having to buy flowers for two places and for needing to hire limo’s to get us from the ceremony to the reception. Also, because we had it in a hotel, they gave us a suite for our wedding night at no extra cost, as well as a suite for the groomsmen to dress and relax in before the wedding. They sent up complimentary drinks and snacks to each suite the day of the wedding.

    I agree to skip engraved invitations. There are so many beautiful invites you can buy online at very reasonable prices.

Any Thoughts?