Oversharing Or Oversensitive?


Sarah and her husband Kevin recently went out to dinner with Christy and Ben – and about halfway through their meal, the topic of money came up.  Both couples were commiserating about the high cost of living in New York, and all four agreed they were glad to have chosen a (relatively) moderately priced restaurant for their night out.

Sarah then shared that she recently found a fabulous consignment store – and had actually started selling some of her own clothing she no longer wore.  She had received almost $100 for 2 dresses she hadn’t worn in years and felt like a total rock star!  Christy was impressed and even asked Sarah for the name of the store…

Sarah noticed that Kevin was pretty quiet on the way home.  Finally, she asked what was wrong.  He told her that it was really embarrassing to him that she told their friends about her selling her clothes for profit.  He said that despite the conversation about money, selling their clothes made them seem really desperate – and that he’d appreciate it if she left those type of personal details out next time!

Sarah was shocked.  All four of them had been discussing money, and it seemed like a completely appropriate comment for her to make.  In fact, she was really proud of herself for finding this gem of a store and saw no shame whatsoever in selling old clothes.

After 5 years of marriage, Sarah is just now realizing she and her husband have very different ideas of what constitutes “embarrassing” financial info! While she feels savvy, he feels cheap…

Is this a difference between the male and female ego? Did Sarah cross the line? Or is Kevin acting crazy? Would you feel comfortable talking about re-selling your clothes – or just keep it as a private money-saving secret?

Tell us what you think!

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3 Responses to “Oversharing Or Oversensitive?”

  1. louie says:

    It was a great conversation tidbit and certainly worth cluing their friends into. What’s this guys problem?

  2. Summer says:

    My multi-millionaire Aunt LOVES (<– note all caps) shopping in thrift stores. She drives a used car because buying new is "a waste of money". Now, she lives in a home in Pacific Palisades CA with a gorgeous ocean view. She has a wine cellar. She clips coupons. She will buy and sell secondhand whenever the mood strikes her. The conversation was around money and how to save some. This guy apparently needs to LOOK like he has money. People who ACTUALLY have money, often don't drive expensive cars or wear the latest designer fashions. That is called "social climbing" and it's tacky.

    • Michelle says:

      Definitely agree with you. Your Aunt is similar to myself. I make a good living – but no one can tell because I live very modestly. I am really low key about the way I dress, my house, and I only buy used cars and keep them for a very long time. I never pay full price for anything – I buy only when on sale. My most favorite thing to do is to REUSE. If someone has something (toys or clothing) they are willing to pass on to my kids I will gladly accept it and when we are done with it I am eager to pass it on to someone else (as long as it is still in good condition). Besides reusing and saving my next favorite thing is to SHARE that information with others! For instance, friends of our talked about how their kitchen remodeling took 8 months and was custom and they spent $40,000. I actually know they are trying to impress others with this story. That doesn’t impress me – I love when someone tells me how I can save and how they did something for less. I love to tell the story of how our kitchen took only a few weeks, cabinets came from IKEA, tiles from Home Depot and we put it together ourselves all for less than $4000.

Any Thoughts?