Is Honesty Really The Best Policy?


A few of our friends were out to dinner the other night, when Grace started talking about her new condo. As we all knew, Grace was lucky enough to have parents who paid the down payment for her – otherwise there’s no way she would have been able to afford it. Which was all well and good – until she started doling out financial advice to our friend Christine…

Christine, who rents her apartment, was saying she would also love to own her own home someday. Grace replied that Christine should really should be owning at her age (35) and not renting – that renting was just like throwing money away…

While Christine knew that Grace was trying to be helpful – she was really taken aback. She felt it was totally obnoxious for Grace to be giving her advice on the topic of home ownership when she would still be renting too if not for her parents’ help!

Rather than bite her tongue, though, Christine shot back, saying to Grace “Well that’s easy for you to say because you didn’t have to pay for your condo. I wish I had parents who could buy one for me, but I don’t!”  Though it was said a bit jokingly, everyone there knew she was serious.  Shortly thereafter, Grace excused herself to go home – she felt she had been unfairly attacked when all she was trying to do was be helpful.

Some of our friends think Grace deserved Christine’s commentary.  Others thought Christine should have just kept her mouth shut – instead of making an awkward situation even worse.  So – what do you think? Did Christine overreact? Or was she right to tell Grace what she really felt?


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4 Responses to “Is Honesty Really The Best Policy?”

  1. MIsty says:

    I think Christine was right- if it weren’t for Grace’s parents, she too would be renting. She should have explained that renting is a better choice based on her situation and finances. Grace on the other hand, should learn that it was improper for her to tell others how to use their finances. Finances are a touchy subject amongst people, let alone, friends.

  2. Sue says:

    Christine is right but being right does not necessarily help. Grace does need to learn to keep her advice to herself since her her parents made her down payment it appears she did not save her own down payment she should not be trying to advise someone else.

  3. Summer says:

    How is telling someone they are “throwing money away” helpful? I think most of us realize if we are renting we are essentially buying someone else a home/apartment building…whatever. Helpful would be creative ideas to come up with that down payment. Anything else is just not warranted given the situation. Christine had a right to put her in her place…whether that was the correct timing…that is a personal choice, however she was essentially disrespected and had a right to say something. Grace was blessed with parents who could help…would they also like to help Christine? If not she is comparing apples to Volkswagens.

  4. Jennifer says:

    I think Christine had every right to speak up as she was being insulted by the “At 35 you should..” remark first by Grace. Plus not to mention Grace was being a hypocrite! I would have said, “I am so happy for you that your parents were able to buy your home, but as that is not an option for me, renting is my choice. But thank you for your concern. ” If Grace was offended too bad! She was out of line acting superior when she has not earned the right. Hopefully she learned from it.

Any Thoughts?