Single & Always Available?


When single, super Auntie Brit relocated to New York City from Boston two years ago, she knew making time to get back to Massachusetts to see her three sisters and six nieces and nephews would be challenging – but definitely a priority!

So, when Brit’s sister Jane organized a brunch and a ladies night out to celebrate a number of family birthdays, Brit started juggling her work schedule, the 4 hour trip each way, and the $200 train ticket to make sure she’d be there for the weekend’s festivities.

Knowing that she worked – and was coming up from New York – Brit assumed Jane arranged dinner and drinks with the sisters for Saturday night, and the big family brunch for Sunday. She had an important meeting scheduled for Friday, so Brit decided she’d book an early train Saturday morning.  But when she told Jane her plan, Jane went silent.  Because of kid activities and husbands’ golf games on Sunday, everyone decided that it would be better to go out Friday night and have the brunch on Saturday… everyone but Brit….

When she realized her mistake, Jane apologized for not running the plan by Brit first, and then asked her if she could take this coming Friday off so she could go out with everyone and make the party.  Rightfully annoyed and hurt by the inconsideration, Brit told Jane that “just because she doesn’t have kids, doesn’t mean she’s not busy and able to accommodate everyone at a moment’s notice”.  Plus, rescheduling her meetings and changing her off peak train ticket fare for a Friday peak ticket was not going to be easy – or cheap.

Should Brit scramble to change her meeting at work and pay the higher train ticket to make it up to Boston in time? Should she ask her siblings to cover the cost of the higher train fare? Or tell her siblings it is just not going to work out this time? What would you do?

Tell us what you think!


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2 Responses to “Single & Always Available?”

  1. Sue says:

    Tell your siblings that it is not going to work out this time. If you scramble to make all of what needs to happen to make them happy, you are going to make yourself unhappy and your work is important. That your family did not even consider the fact that they should be talking to you about what changes they were thinking of is totally inconsiderate. My family used to do the same thing to me and drove me crazy. Things that you knew were planned months in advance and I would find out a couple of days in advance to the event.

  2. Molly says:

    I think it depends on how important that particular weekend is to Brit. If she really wants to be there, then she should change her schedule – after all, Jane did apologize, which hopefully means it won’t happen again.
    However, if it’s too much of a hassle to change things around, Brit should simply say that her plans, including a work meeting are “set in stone” and she’s going to have to pass on this weekend.
    However, no matter what her decision is, she shouldn’t express anger or annoyance. Jane apologized….hey we all make mistakes…. let’s not dwell on it.

    Also, Brit should not mention the additional cost of the peak-time train ticket. That’s just tacky. Had Jane told Brit the plan from the beginning, she would have had to buy a peak priced ticket anyway, so what’s the difference?

Any Thoughts?