Thank You Note No-No?


Grumbling Over A Group Email

Our friend Teri was in a total tizzy the other day, and gave us all an earful over drinks.  The issue?  Her 5 year old daughter had recently attended a friend’s birthday party, and didn’t exactly receive a thank you note from the birthday girl.  Instead, the girl’s mom sent a group email to everyone who came saying,”Thank you all so much for coming and for the wonderful gifts!”

Astonishing – Or Acceptable?

Teri thought it was rude of the mom to send out a generic email to the whole group and not acknowledge individual gifts.  Plus, Teri thinks that at 5 years old, the kids are old enough to send their own thank yous – or at least sign ones the parents write for them.  And, if it was going to be an email thank you, at least the mom should have emailed each family separately and thanked them specifically for the gift they gave…

While some of our friends agree with Teri, others think Teri is being way too sensitive and should give the other mom a break!  After all, Teri is super busy herself and should understand taking the occasional etiquette shortcut — or should she?

So – what do you think? Is it ever ok to send out a general “thank you” email – or do individual gifts warrant individual responses?  Would separate emails have been ok or are handwritten notes still expected? Tell us what you think!





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6 Responses to “Thank You Note No-No?”

  1. Molly says:

    No, I don’t believe Teri is being too sensitive. Being too busy is a really poor excuse. How would the mom of the birthday girl feel if all the mom’s chipped in and bought the birthday girl one e-GiftCard card as a present because they were too busy to individually go out shopping?

    The child should be taught that all presents deserve a hand written thank you note and not an email. Even an individual email is poor manners. It says, “I can’t be bothered” to thank you for your efforts.

    It doesn’t take any more time to write a quick thank you note than it does to shop for and wrap a gift.

  2. Alice says:

    Individual gifts warrant individual thank yous. Really, someone went to both trouble and expense to purchase, wrap and personally deliver a gift. Being too busy to thank them personally by any means is shabby.

  3. Sue says:

    I agree with Molly. An email, much less a group email, is pretty sad. And what is even worse, more and more people feel that it is ok to do this type of thing. No respect or thought given.

  4. Jennifer says:

    I agree with Molly and Sue. Molly’s example of a group e-gift card is hilarious and a bulls eye response. Thank you notes are good etiquette and a fun little project. When we don’t make our own we pick them out when were buying party decorations to go with the theme. Enjoy it.

  5. Karen says:

    No, I do not believe Teri is being too sensitive. I agree with everyone so far. The children picked out individual gifts and warrant an individual thank you card specific to them. I still to this day (my children are older) let them know they need to send a thank you card when they receive a gift – it shows respect to the person who was thoughtful to take the time to chose a gift for them.

  6. Molly says:

    Jennifer – glad you thought my idea of a group e-Giftcard was hilarious and a bulls eye response.
    Thanks for letting me know. :)

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