Let Bygones Be Bygones?


Our friend Kim called us the other day to discuss an awkward situation – we’re curious to know what you think she should do…

Kim and her husband, Tony, have two children.  And last year they thought they had found the world’s best babysitter – Claire was fun, young and energetic.  Unfortunately, it turned out Claire also had a drug and alcohol problem – which eventually sent her into rehab.

Kim is glad that Claire went to rehab to get help – and is incredibly grateful that her children were not harmed while under Claire’s supervision.  But she wasn’t so appreciative of certain items going missing during Claire’s tenure – such as $100 in petty cash, an expensive bottle of whiskey, and a bottle of wine from their collection…

In retrospect, Kim and Tony are convinced that Claire stole the petty cash and alcohol.  And now that she is out of rehab (and in grad school – not babysitting!) Kim wants to ask Claire if she stole from them – and, if so, to repay them.  She doesn’t think addiction issues give you a free pass, and feels they have every right to ask for repayment.  Tony feels they should just let bygones be bygones and not hold her responsible for things she may have done while battling drug addiction.

Do you agree with Tony? Or do you think Kim should call her and ask her to repay them?  What would you do?


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2 Responses to “Let Bygones Be Bygones?”

  1. Molly says:

    I would call Claire and ask her about the missing items. Often, one of the steps in rehab is admitting to mistakes and apologizing to people you’ve wronged.

    However, I would not ask Claire to pay for them. For me, just knowing, and getting an apology would be enough. If Claire admits to the stealing and then says she wants to repay Kim & Tony, that’s fine. But I wouldn’t ask.

  2. louie says:

    Is there any doubt that Claire had taken the items???? Who’s kidding whom? and what good will the questioning be for either party. Just thank your lucky stars that the children didn’t suffer while under her supervision. Your first loss is your best loss.
    There simply is no purpose other than self gratification, for Kim to bring this situation up and to a head now.

Any Thoughts?