Don’t Be A Turkey Of A Guest


*It’s time to revisit our Thanksgiving no-no list – read these to ensure you are the best guest you can be!

How To Make Your Host Thankful

We’re just a few short weeks away from Thanksgiving – and guests all across America are about to make some major etiquette fumbles.  So, please – check out our Fab & Fru tips for being a good guest – you can thank us next year when you get asked back! We polled some of our favorite hostesses and they shared with us their top guest gripes…

turkeyladyDietary Restrictions

In the event that you have a very restrictive diet – be it vegan, raw food or no-carb  – please do not call the hostess to “make sure” there will be something there for you to eat!

We heard from a number of hostesses who said they are grateful to know in advance about life-threatening food allergies, but resent being called to see if she will be serving a “vegan entree option” – for example.  If you are following a special diet, just let the hostess know you will be bringing your own meal – or happily make due with what is being served!

“Don’t Bring Anything”

The hostess tells you to “just bring yourselves”?  She doesn’t mean it.  No, seriously – she is lying.  Never come to a holiday dinner empty handed – period.  We have plenty of Fab & Fru inexpensive hostess gift ideas that are easy to make and will surely be appreciated.

But Please Don’t Bring The Following Items

Having said that, there are a couple things you should not bring.  Number one?  Flowers.  I have had hostesses tell me they want to hit their well-intended guests over the head with bouquets of flowers.  The last thing any hostess has time to do is cut stems, find a vase, and arrange flowers.  Seriously.

And Two Buck Chuck? Don’t even think about it.  There are plenty of reasonably priced bottles of vino out there – but please try to draw the line at $2 wine.

Clean Up

Remember how we told you when a hostess says “don’t bring anything” she doesn’t really mean it?  Well, when she says she does NOT want you to help clean up, she DOES mean it.  I know, it’s confusing – which is why we are here to translate hostess lingo for you.cleaninglady

It’s usually just at the very end of the evening that your hostess is finally relaxing a bit.  Which is often when a well-intended guest gets up and insists on starting to clean your house…

Chances are the hostess has her own way of cleaning items and loading the dishwasher that you will screw up.  One year a good-hearted guest threw all my heirloom crystal and china in the dishwasher – and, yes – it was piled in there like it was Tupperware. Not what I wanted to deal with right after hosting 30 people.

Hostesses appreciate you wanting to help, and you absolutely should ask if there is anything you can do.  If the hostess takes you up on your offer to clean, that’s great.  But if she doesn’t – believe us, she means it!

Thank You

Do we really have to say it?  Apparently we do.  Many hostesses have told us horror stories about hosting a major holiday and hearing nary a peep from guests afterward.  A heartfelt thank you is the best thing you can give a hostess, and it doesn’t cost a thing.  Now that’s Fab & Fru!





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One Response to “Don’t Be A Turkey Of A Guest”

  1. Nelly says:

    The hosts have spent many hours and days preparing, and lots of money for this get together. Don’t show up with a bottle of $10. wine…unless you’re really that broke, or know it’s their fave, and then bring two or three bottles. And I always let the hosts know that I don’t expect them to serve it that evening. Just because you bring wine, doesn’t mean it fits into their menu, so don’t suggest it.

    Great suggestion about the flowers. Not only does the hostess not want to spend time looking for a vase and arranging, she may have her own color or themed floral arrangements and décor that yours doesn’t match.

    And please keep your food limitations to yourself! No one wants to hear that you’re now 1. on a diet, 2. vegetarian/vegan 3. gluten free or 4. can’t eat “that”. And the “jokes” about broken cookies having no calories, or that slice of pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream being lo-cal or fat free is sooooo old and boring it’ll make most people want to slap you in the head. You don’t want it? Don’t eat it; a polite “no thanks” will suffice. Stop reminding everyone else that they’ll “diet tomorrow” or whatever other suggestions you have for running other people’s lives for them.
    Eat what you want, tell the hosts how delicious it is, and shut up about your diet. Really… one wants to hear about it.

    I’ve hosted MANY Thanksgiving dinners and always make sure I have items to satisfy everyone’s food preferences without needing to hear a diatribe about turkey, dairy or fat.

Any Thoughts?