The More The Merrier?


Our friend Ashley is – as usual – hosting a big Thanksgiving dinner.  She just got an email from one of her guests – we’ll call her Tammy – and Ashley is not sure how to respond …

Tammy and her husband and their two kids were already scheduled to come to Ashley’s for Thanksgiving.  But it turns out Tammy’s in-laws  have just decided to come to town over Thanksgiving – along with Tammy’s husband’s sister and brother.  So Tammy sent Ashley an email asking if it would be ok to bring the four additional guests to Ashley’s dinner – adding that she would of course “totally understand” if it is too many people.

Tom, Ashley’s husband, thought it was fine that Tammy asked – but instantly told Ashley to tell Tammy that yes – it was too many people.  Ashley, however, confided to us that she was taken aback that Tammy even asked to bring such a large group.  Ash feels that when Tammy’s group grew to 8 people, she should have just taken the initiative to host her own dinner, and not even posed the question…

Some of our friends think it was fine for Tammy to ask, especially given that Ashley always hosts a large group.  Plus, as one friend pointed out – the nature of Thanksgiving is to be inclusive, right?  Others think that though she asked nicely, it’s really pushy of Tammy to even ask if her party of 8 can come!

What’s your opinion? Was Tammy wrong to ask? Or is Ashley being too sensitive? What is the guest/hostess etiquette in this situation? Tell us what you think!


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2 Responses to “The More The Merrier?”

  1. Sue says:

    If it had been just the in-laws or just the brother-in-law and his wife, the hosts might not have thought much about it. It was good that Tammy did ask. I can see the host couples thought that with 8 people maybe Tammy should host her own dinner. I would think that additionally if they are okay with it that she would bring additional side dishes. From the hosts end, as I am hosting Thanksgiving dinner and from way back I have always felt what is one more. There are 12 of us and it may be a few extra with a couple of girlfriends coming along which I probably will not be told until the last minute. I already added 2 more with a set of family in-laws who are not having Thanksgiving that day. No reason to be home alone. Bring it!!! There is room at my house and plenty of food.

  2. Sue says:

    Totally agree with above comment. It is really only four more than were expected and there is always too much food. Bring extra sides or dessert. Let us just be thankful on Thanksgiving.

Any Thoughts?