Playdate Problem


Our friend Eileen called us about a dilemma stemming from – of all things – a playdate.  Eileen’s daughter, Sophie, is 6 – and recently had her classmate Ava over to play.  And Eileen was very surprised to hear what their conversation was about…

As the girls were playing, Ava blurted out to Sophie, “Why do you live in such a small house?”  Sophie sort of shrugged off the comment, but Eileen was really taken aback.  Ava then continued talking – mainly about how large her house is, and how she felt bad for Sophie that she didn’t have more rooms in her house or a bigger yard.

Eileen jumped in and gently told Ava they they loved their house and were very proud of it, and that it didn’t matter whose house was bigger or smaller.  And then quickly changed the subject!

Eileen wants to know if she should mention to Ava’s parents what their daughter was saying.  Ava does live in a huge house, and Eileen is guessing Sophie isn’t the only friend with whom Ava will be talking real estate!  Some of us think she should keep her mouth shut – that it would just be too awkward to talk to Ava’s parents.  Others think Eileen would be doing Ava’s parents – not to mention Ava – a service by saying something.

Is it worth mentioning the convo to Ava’s parents?  Or should Eileen, in the words of her daughter’s favorite song, “let it go”? What would you do?



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5 Responses to “Playdate Problem”

  1. Sue says:

    I think it seems to bother the mother more than the child. Leave it alone. Someone will always have a bigger house or more money or the newer car or whatever. Are you going to ask everyone to keep their mouth shut about everything. These are kids. If your family likes your home and it fits your needs then what is your problem with it being said that it is small. One of my favorite sayings is “Old don’t make it bad” Well same goes for small or whatever.

  2. Molly says:

    Tough one. I think that I would drop it at this point. However, if Ava said something again at the next play date, I would probably say something like, “Well Ava, if you don’t like our house, perhaps you shouldn’t come here and play anymore”. That should shut the little brat up.

  3. Liz says:

    What’s happening is that ava is paying way to much attention to grown up conversations and repeating them in her own life. As Sophie’s parent I would play and talk with my daughter and ask her about the play date and see if she brings it up. Then talk to her about how great the house is the way it is. What are her favorite parts of the house and make it a personal connection. It’s not the size of you home or what you have in It that makes it from a house to a loving home. Emphasis on loving. If Eva comes back and keeps repeating those comments then tell her parents about the conversation. Because Sophie might not be the only one getting this earful.

  4. Jenny says:

    This happened to my son on three occasions. One was a girl who lives in a massive home and the other two were from boys who lived in much smaller homes. My son was not bothered, but like you, with the two boys I was annoyed. I said that we felt very comfortable in our home and we hoped they would feel that way too. I never said anything to their parents. I just laughed it off a few days later. With the girl, I know her parents are not around much and her life is much different from ours. My son was annoyed with what she said. I asked him if he liked his life. He said yes and I asked him if he thought the girl liked her life. He said maybe not. Having a big house may seem glamorous, but we don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. I think changing the subject any time it comes up is the best idea.

  5. Barbara says:

    I wouldn’t mention it to Ava’s parents just because they may also think it is a shame that Sophie lives in a small house It is obvious that people who want McMansions go after them while others of us find happiness in what our smaller homes offer to us. I have a very small apartment which is lovely to me and the has so many things perfect about it. I have been downsizing with every house/move the last decade. Many of my friends my age live in as empty nesters in larger houses. Its a choice brought on by life experiences and exposures, the amount you make and the amount you spend, and the desire to have just enough or everything there is. I live on the small end – others might chose to have it all. I think Ava is already influenced by her parents – where else would she get her ideas.

Any Thoughts?