Fabulous & Frugal: A Girl's Guide To Living Well & Spending Wisely » Save & Invest

7 Ways To Save $100 A Month

brandi — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 21:26:57 +0000

Build Wealth without Even Noticing

Contributed by Alan Haft

Fab & Fru contributor and financial adviser Alan Haft has a few painless tricks to help you find a way to stash some savings away each month. If saving $100 per month doesn’t sound like it could equate to much, think again. Over time, even small savings can multiply into big bucks. Read on and find out how!

Saving for retirement is not always easy. There are bills to pay, clothes to buy, movies to see and a long list of many other things that can easily get in the way. Without infringing on all the fun, I do few ideas on how to save $100 per month and jump start your way to building your wealth.

Let’s suppose you invest $100 every month, and let’s also assume you invest it into a stock index fund, (a mutual fund or exchange-traded fund that aims to replicate the movements of a specific financial market, or a set of rules of ownership that are held constant, regardless of market conditions) that earns an average return of 8% per year. Before revealing the results, note the emphasis on index fund. This is important to highlight because when investing in an index such as the S&P 500, not only do you get instant diversification, but you’d also keep the fees you pay and the taxes you owe to a bare minimum.

Let’s also suppose the amount you save increases by 3% per year to keep in line with a hopeful increase in wages. So, invest $100 per month in an index fund such as the S&P 500, and at an 8% average rate of return, the following would result:

IF YOU INVEST FOR…	…YOUR INVESTMENT WILL GROW TO…
10 years	$21,796
20 years	$65,265
25 years	$101,454

Looks good to me. Here’s a few creative ways to help you get there:

Invest Your Refund: Are you one of the unlucky people to get a tax-refund this year? Remember, your tax refund is merely an overpayment of estimated taxes or withholdings that earned Uncle Sam interest, not you… If you were one of the unlucky people to receive a refund, evaluate your estimated taxes or with holdings and don’t give it to Uncle Sam as a tax-free loan. Instead, invest it. Doing so could very well get you that $100 monthly savings you’ve been looking for.
Brown Bag It: Working? Let’s suppose you eat lunch out every day and the average meal costs $12. That’s $240 per month in food costs. To save money, you don’t have to eliminate dining out every day! Try cutting down your daytime dine out to once a week. By doing so, you can bring your total monthly lunch costs to about $50. Of course, you still have to feed yourself. So let’s assume you spent about $100 for some groceries. Do the math, and there you have it – you’re left with a $100 dollar monthly savings.

Dating & Investing

Steph — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 21:53:18 +0000

A Guy’s Take on Planning for the Future

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of hanging out in LA with Alan Haft - personal finance guru and new friend of Fab & Fru! Alan is the author of the book You Can Never Be Too Rich and a partner in King’s Point Capital, not to mention a frequent news show guest & contributor. A regular guy, Alan is refreshingly down to earth and explains personal finance in a humorous way that demystifies even daunting subjects…like INVESTING. So when Alan shared with me what he learned about investing back in the days when he was looking for love, I thought – what a Fab & Fru perspective!

Here are Alan’s thoughts (with a few of mine thrown in as well) on how dating and investing go hand & hand…

6 Things Dating Teaches Us About Investing

By Alan Haft

Bad date last night? Don’t despair. When it comes to your money, that bad date can teach you an awful lot about successful investing!

Back in my single days, although I was a far cry from being the King of Dating, I did have occasional lucky streaks. And looking back, the dating circuit did teach me quite a few things about prudent investing…

1. DON’T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER

Dating: Your date was a half-hour late. His outdated shirt barely matched his Taco Bell stained pants, the rain gave him a lethal dose of bed-head, and back then the busboy was making more than he was. If that wasn’t bad enough, his humor was a bit stale and the car he drove had a weird putter that attracted nothing but aliens from evil Planet X. At first glance you NEVER thought you’d end up going on a second date, much less really fall in love, but something told you to give him a second chance- who knew you’d end up happily married to Mr. Taco Bell?!

Investing: You walked into a dimly lit office. The receptionist was nice, but the carpets were dull and the musty furniture smelled like Grandma’s house. With that setting alone, you were ready to take your money to that Private Wealth Management Firm — the one with the white marble staircase and baby grand — but when the well-mannered financial advisor appeared, you figured you’d be courteous and give him a few minutes of time. A little into his pitch, you were pleasantly surprised when he touted low cost, tax efficient investments with attractive rates of return. It was then that you realized- there’s a reason the furniture in his place is a bit out-dated – the guy isn’t paying for it out of your own pocket!

Lesson Learned: First impressions can easily get the best of us. Whether it’s a date or your money, taking a step back to peek behind the curtain will typically put both your money and heart in a much better place.

2. COSTS COUNT

Dating: She liked Dylan Thomas, idolized Ginsberg, despised the conformists, and fell into a deep depression because she missed last year’s Monterey Pop Music Festival (Yes, we all have had a friend like this – living in the ’60s even though they weren’t even born until the 70s or 80′s!) This ‘perfect 10′ also strummed an acoustic, wrote poetry and even donated your favorite Levis to a homeless guy on the street. At first, lust got the best of you. But after months of helping her pay for her rent, her organic meals and all those art house movies you pretended to like, you were finally worn out! You awakened to the realization that when it comes to dating, expenses most definitely DO count.

Investing: The mutual fund was barely moving. Five years into it, you just couldn’t quite figure out why you weren’t making money. Then, one fine day, you wisely took the time to research the fees you were paying, only to realize the fund was charging you well over 5% per year in annual costs and causing you all sorts of taxes.

Lesson Learned: When it comes to investing and dating, costs most definitely do count. Taking the time to evaluate how much you’re paying for your dates and investments are an essential part of anyone’s success.

Women & Money

Steph — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 20:12:01 +0000

by Stephanie Berenbaum – July 14, 2010

Facts to know… from Women & Co.

It’s not news that men and women have a pretty different relationship to money and personal finances- hence the birth of Fab & Fru… But we’re not the only ones who exist to help empower, secure, and change the financial futures of women! Did you know that Citigroup has a financial resource division solely dedicated to women? --Yes, even the banks are taking notice!

I recently had the extreme pleasure of speaking with the inspirational Linda Descano - President of Citigroup’s -Women & Co. She shared with me, much like Fab & Fru, Women & Co. was born out of the idea that “women wanted to talk about finance, but no one in the financial services industry was listening.” In general, the male dominated finance world, did not see women as time worthy customers nor did they know how to address their specific needs. Linda stated this truth: “Women have distinct financial realities — we live longer, spend more years in retirement, and are more likely to take time out of the workforce to tend to our families…”

Back in 2000, Citigroup created this membership based organization and devoted resources specifically focused on starting a financial conversation with women. A decade later, Women & Co. is stronger than ever! In honor of their 10 year anniversary, Women & Co. has compiled some fabulous financial facts about – you guessed it – WOMEN. You may know some, while other facts may surprise you. All of them however, are totally worth checking out!

Facts You Should Know About Women & Finances

Women control 60% of all wealth in the U.S. and about half of private wealth, estimated to be between $10-12 trillion
By around 2028, the average woman is projected to earn more than the average man in the U.S.
Almost all income growth in the U.S. over the past 15-20 years has come from women.
Women are on the verge of outnumbering men in the U.S. workforce.
90% of women will be solely responsible for their finances at some time in their lives.
Women constitute 43% of Americans with gross assets exceeding $1.5 million.
Women own 40% of businesses in the U.S., and their businesses are growing at twice the rate of U.S. firms as a whole.
50% of all U.S. investment capital comes from women.
Women make an estimated 85% of all household spending decisions.
Women have shorter work lives than men. On average, women take the equivalent of 11 years out of the workforce to care for family members.
73% of women define wealth as ‘security’ or ‘freedom’.
92% of mothers consider themselves a positive role model when it comes to money.
Money is the #1 topic discussion among mothers and daughters today.

Do any of these facts shock you or at least make you stop and think? Do any of them have any relevance to your own life? What other financial facts are true about your own personal life story?

Stay tuned for an in depth look at Women & Co and the services they offer – coming up on Fab & Fru next week! In the meantime, for more information on Women & Co. and how you can become a member- visit their website at womenandco.com.

Stretch Your Donation Dollars In Haiti

Steph — Wed, 26 May 2010 18:44:24 +0000

Fab & Fru Fundraising

Of course none of us have forgotten about the devastating earthquake that hit Haiti in January, but like so many news events, as time goes on even the most daunting tragedies seem to fade out of the headlines. But Haiti still needs our help. With the start of the rainy season, Haiti needs help more than ever – and as quickly as possible!

As you know, our friends at Planting Peace have been instrumental in providing relief and medical supplies to Haiti, and right now they are offering an extraordinary opportunity for your donation dollars to stretch even further! Between May 26th and June 8th, any donation YOU make to Planting Peace will be TRIPLED – yes, TRIPLED — by an anonymous donor! How Fab & Fru is that?!

As we’ve mentioned before, Planting Peace’s de-worming efforts accomplish so much with even the smallest donation – now the effect you can have with just $1 is even bigger! If you donate by June 8th, your donation of $1 will de-worm 201 children, $10 will de-worm 2,001 children, and $100 will de-worm 20,100 children! Talk about putting your money to work – this is an charitable investment with a guaranteed huge return.

With so much relief work still to do in Haiti, the problems appear so overwhelming it might seem like there is very little we can do as individuals to help, but that could not be further from the truth. If you have a dollar to give, you can save hundreds of lives – it’s that simple. Please do not pass up this extraordinary opportunity to help save lives and impact a positive future for every child in Haiti!

Choosing A Financial Advisor

Steph — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 18:42:28 +0000

by Stephanie Berenbaum – April 8, 2010

Are You In The Know About Hiring a Pro?

Have you been trying to get serious about your financial future and thinking that the time has finally come to hire a personal financial professional? No matter if you have $5,000 or $5 million dollars to invest, we all have become a little gun shy trusting financial professionals after witnessing all the scandals surrounding the Bernie Madoffs of the world. So, if you’re about to hire someone to help manage your hard earned cash, how on earth can you determine if they are reputable or not?

I figured there would be a clear cut answer to this question. Not so much… There are many different angles to explore when choosing a financial professional, but after doing a lot of research and speaking with several industry professionals, I’ve narrowed it down so you can get started doing some Fab & Fru recon on your future finance advisor!

NAPFA

I had the pleasure of speaking with Ellen Turf, CEO of the National Association of Personal Financial Advisors – their NAPFA website is a great resource! Ellen was like a breath of fresh air – she told me that first time investors should not be scared off by thinking they need tons of money to invest. On their website under Consumer Info they have a very helpful Financial Planner Questionnaire – and answer key – to help you figure out what to ask a prospective advisor.

Fee Only vs. Commission Based Planners

Ask if your advisor is “fee only” or commission based. Ellen explained to me the important legal difference between the two. They are governed under separate laws — a “fee only” advisor has a Fiduciary Duty to the client – meaning they have to put your best interest first all the time. A commission based advisor is one who makes money off specific investment recommendations – they are required to provide you with “suitable” recommendations – but this is not the same as “best interest” – meaning they might steer to you specific investments which provide them with bigger commissions. Of course, there are MANY very reputable commission based professionals out there, but if you are just getting started, and do not plan to be pro-actively involved in making every investment decision with your advisor, it may make more sense to go to someone who has a fiduciary duty to protect your interests!

Reputation

Personally, I ended up hiring the same financial advisors my grandfather used! He trusted the firm, they came highly recommended, and I already had a degree of comfort when I started working with them. Finding out who your friends and family trust is an excellent starting point!

License and Registration, Please

Ask what licenses your potential advisor holds and which organizations they are registered with. You should know what professional training they have had and if they are currently registered with the SEC or the state. You need to know which licenses they hold and where they are registered to make the background checking process easier. Which brings us to our next point…

Background Check

Do A FINRA background check before hiring your financial advisor. FINRA is the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority. You can check out their Broker Check website or call their toll free number at 800-289-9999 for more information. To obtain further information , we were also advised to go each organization’s website, where the financial planner is accredited. For example, your advisor’s associations may include- CFP, AIF, CIMA. All of these organizations keep records of disciplinary actions and will also let you know if the individual is current with there continuing education and dues requirements.

The Art of the Financial Planner

Steph — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 15:07:17 +0000

Even A Little Money Can Go A Long Way

by Stephanie Berenbaum – January 19, 2010

Think a financial planner is only for someone who has a ton of money to invest and manage? Think again! It’s a common misperception that “financial planning” is only for the rich, but, really – how do you think the rich get so rich anyway?! Definitely not by sitting back and letting their financial lives pass them by. So, no matter how much (or, ok, how little) you make, it might make sense for you to consult a financial professional to help chart your financial future.

A Different Kind of Financial Planner

Fab & Fru recently had the pleasure of speaking with financial planner Mark Zaifman, founder of Spiritus Financial Management. He started Spiritus in 2003, fueled by his holistic approach and passion to bring financial planning services not just to the wealthy, but to all of us!

Like the core of the Fab & Fru message, Mark believes that, “financial planning is a life-long process that assists you in taking control of your financial future”. Like most personal financial planners or advisers, Mark evaluates his clients investing, saving and retirement goals and then often helps to manage their investment portfolio. What sets him apart is that Mark is NOT just interested in high net worth individuals and the big returns their investments bring. He believes in helping to create a financially healthy and secure environment for everyone! So, YES – there are legit professionals out there who want to work with you and build relationships – no mater how small your net worth.

Focus On Short Term Goals

It’s easy to get overwhelmed by the very thought of your long term financial picture, particularly if you feel you’ve fallen a wee bit behind where you should be! Instead, Mark suggests first thinking about financial planning from the perspective of a short term goal, like going on vacation. He asks, “Would you go on vacation without doing some basic planning?” And points out that, “at the very least, you would know where you want to go and how you are going to get there!” So shouldn’t you give the same attention to your life’s financial voyage as you would to a spring break trip?

The Mind, Body & Spirit of Financial Planning

Aside from the nuts and bolts of number crunching and what-if scenarios, there is also a spiritual side to planning your finances. Mark refers to this as the “art” of financial planning. He explains that the art is focused on, “mind, body and spirit…a process of goal setting that puts you in control of your life.” Basically, what are the dreams and aspirations behind the numbers adding up (or dwindling down) in the bank?

No Cash, No Credit, No Automatic Debit

brandi — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 17:20:24 +0000

What a Day Without Spending Any Money Can Teach You

If you were anything like me this holiday season, you’ve been mindlessly indulging in endless feasts, sweets and wine. And with 2010 hours away, you’re finding yourself obsessing about how you’re not going to eat for a week in hopes to lose the holiday chub before you start your real diet… Sound familiar? Well, what about giving the same amount of thought and effort to jumpstarting your new Fab & Fru spending habits and savings plan?

Even if you consciously cut back on your gift giving budget this year, it would be almost inhuman of you if you didn’t overindulge just a little more than planned- at least sometime over the holidays. Why not start the New Year off on the right foot, and instead of (or along with) eliminating Carbs come Monday, take a day off from spending ANY money! Wake up and learn just how much you depend on the green for everyday existence and how often you actually go to make a purchase without even being fully aware of your actions…

The Purpose of a Money Fast

By dedicating 24 hours to NOT spending any money, you can allow yourself a thoughtful day focusing on your financial future and becoming more in tune with your spending habits. The more aware you are, the more control you will have over your spending and your savings.

Best Day to Money Fast

To get the most out of this exercise, pick a non working day when you don’t have too many commitments outside the house. And don’t pick the day you’re planning to pay your bills!

The Essentials Only

Do make sure that you have some basic groceries in the house and gas in the car before you start your Money Fast. This exercise is supposed to help bring you self-awareness not to intentionally torture you or put you in harms way!

Enlist Support from Friends & Family!

By far the hardest part of a Money Fast is dealing with free-spending friends and family. Let them know what you’re doing and why and make sure you have their support. How else can you dodge the last minute invitation to go out for drinks or the temptation to go for pizza with the neighbors when your little one throws a fit about how he doesn’t want to eat steamed broccoli and carrots? –Warning! This does not mean that you can use someone else to buy things for you or drop by with ‘a gift’. There’s no need to cheat- it’s just one day- FIGURE IT OUT!

Record Your Progress

Every time a need or an impulse that costs you money arises, jot it down in a notebook. Divide your list between essentials and perks, and at the end of the day tally up each column. How much did you save? Are there any costly habits that if you stopped or at least cut in half, would save you a bundle? How much can you save by simply becoming more conscious of your impulse buys? –You may just surprise yourself!

Other Fab & Fru Activities To Do During Your Money Fast

-Write Down Your Financial Goals for the Year & How You Will Achieve Them

-Create a Monthly Budget (including a Savings Plan)

-Clean Your Closet

-Restock Your Freezer with Homemade Meals (using what you’ve got in the kitchen)

-Organize Your Bills & Paperwork

-Automate Your Bills Online (Do the set up, but don’t pay today)

-Write an Old Fashion Letter to a Friend

-Read a Book!

Cleansing is a common yet fantastic way to clear your mind, focus your intentions and start the New Year off in a positive direction. So this year while you’re trying to trim your waistline, why not tighten your belt and get a grip on your finances too!

Black Friday & Cyber Monday

admin — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 21:03:44 +0000

Make Your Holiday Shopping Fab & Fru

Black Friday, Cyber Monday, or whatever the super sale may be, retailers are doing even more this holiday season to try to beat the recession, entice shoppers to their doors and get them to spend, spend, spend. If you are one of those brave shopping souls who will hit the stores at midnight for door buster deals and stomach the crowds at 4am for the thrill of serious ‘steal’, then Black Friday was designed just for you!

Obviously, we at Fab & Fru fully support you in your pursuit of serious savings, but we are obligated to provide a morsel of caution as well. At it’s core Black Friday is much more about you spending money and store owners enticing you to spend even more than you planned, rather than the deals themselves. Retailers are banking on you getting a thrill from ‘winning’ the last ZuZu Pet off the shelf, scoring a computer for under $200, or feeling the sudden need to buy a new wardrobe. The psychology beyond the whole thing is basically: once you’ve saved on one thing, the more you feel you have to spend.

This is a Fab & Fru danger zone. And it can go either way. However, if you want to reap the Black Friday benefits and still come out on top, you must make a list and not deviate at from it! Compare deals online before leaving your house. Have a plan, stick to your strategy – and, I repeat- do not buy anything off your list!

The most important thing of all to remember is – a deal is not a deal if you never planned to buy the item in the first place.

So don’t worry if Black Friday shopping is not for you, I feel confident that if you chose to skip out on the hype, you will not lose out. Holiday shoppers will have plenty to choose from and enjoy fabulous sales all season long. But if you don’t want to take your chances and miss out of Black Friday deals, take some time to pull yourself together! Whether you want to put up with all the pushing and shoving that Black Friday brings is up to you, but you shouldn’t have to face hand to hand combat and then realize you spent way more than you intended to!

To help keep you focused and get you started planning your sale shopping strategies, we’ve complied a fantastic Black Friday/Cyber Monday resource guide of resource guides that has links to store hours, deals, tips, and more from retailers to reporters.

Guide to Store Hours

Pre Sales

Ads & Coupons

Deal Tracker Sites

GottaDeal

BlackFridayOnline

Black-Friday.net

Gizmodo [Tech deals]

More Great Tips & Advice

Recession Investing 101

admin — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 22:47:16 +0000

Is the Stock Market Still the Key to Financial Freedom?

by Andrea Moya– November 11, 2009

As a young professional lucky enough to enter the work force during the Great Recession, I’ve often wondered how one can even begin to build wealth when the economy is so uncertain. I’ve read books, consulted with people who have maintained financial stability through hard times, and yet all the signs still seem to point towards the least likely place– the stock market. So at 23, working at my first job, and in the midst of a weak economy, I have begun to seriously consider investing. My head is swimming with questions!

Do you need a lot of money to start an investment portfolio? How do you begin to navigate your way through the stock market? Now that we’re in a recession, is investing in the stock market really Fab & Fru? –I turned to our go-to financial planner Michael Hardy for some answers and here’s what he had to say.

What is an Investment?

Michael explains that an investment is “anything that has potential to make a return.” This includes real estate, stocks, bonds, even your savings account is an investment simply because you earn interest on it. However, I wanted to focus our conversation exclusively on the stock market and why developing a portfolio of stocks, bonds, and funds, even without having a lot to invest now, is crucial to future savings and wealth.

Pay Yourself First & Always Live Below Your Means

“The key to building wealth is to save,” says Michael. Like in the books Rich Dad, Poor Dad and The Millionaire Mind, Michael advises that the most important thing is to “pay yourself first.” When you put away money, you provide safety for yourself and for your family. Most people live above their means and never save…sound familiar? Millionaires and other wealthy people live below their means and save and invest as much they can. “Time is your biggest asset,” says Michael, noting that the longer you let an investment grow, reinvesting with the interest you earn, the more value it accrues over time- even if that investment starts small.

Fab & Fru Investment Definitions from Investorwords.com

Stock: “An instrument that signifies an ownership position (called equity) in a corporation.” How much of the company you own depends on how many shares you own. You can profit from owning stocks in a couple ways:

Dividend producing companies that pay you part of their profit quarterly or at the end of the year.
Companies that reinvest your money back into themselves and when the stock gains in value, you can sell them for a profit.

Bond: a loan you make to a company or the government that pays you interest until “maturity” (the end of the time frame in which the bond is set to be paid off) or until it is “called” (when a company cancels a bond before maturity and pays back all principal). Depending on the kind of bond you buy you can receive interest payments monthly, quarterly, or all at once along with the full principal when the bond matures (called zero-coupon bonds).

Mutual funds: a package of investments (generally stocks and/or bonds) bundled together and sold like stock. The funds are paid for by multiple shareholders who receive returns on all the investments contained in the mutual fund. Benefits of mutual funds include diversification and professional money management. By buying shares of a mutual fund you are receiving ownership in many different companies, not just one. Mutual funds offer choice, liquidity, and convenience, but charge fees and often require a minimum investment.”

Index Funds: An index measures the overall performance of a series of companies, such as the Standard & Poor’s 500, Nasdaq, or Dow Jones. An index fund is: “A mutual fund that tries to mirror the performance of a specific index, such as the S&P 500. Since portfolio decisions are automatic and transactions are infrequent, expenses tend to be lower than those of actively managed funds.”

Eating a Hole in Your Wallet

admin — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 09:54:30 +0000

FAB & FRU MINI-MAKEOVER

NAME: Amanda
AGE: 27
CITY: Los Angeles
OCCUPATION: Journalist
INCOME: $40,000/year
PROBLEM: Has no idea how to save for new car
GOAL: Show Amanda how fewer pricey meals will add up to new wheels!

It was a sad sight. My friend Amanda was in tears over the fact that she lives paycheck to paycheck, has no savings, and no clue how she could ever squeeze one more dime out of her salary to put away for a much needed new car. After all, she said to me, she’s just living, “like all her friends are.” After reviewing Amanda’s spending habits, I had a sneaking suspicion I knew what was eating a hole in her wallet – quite literally.

Mandy’s road to financial recovery started when I asked her to suggest a meeting spot for us to chat over dinner – she recommended one of her favorite restaurants and unwittingly put my my plan into action.

When I showed up at the posh Asian Fusion spot, (a.k.a. “Pricey Rice”) I picked up a menu and saw her car adding up in front of me. Mandy was spending on meals what she should have been spending on wheels! Still, no one likes a lecture…

Amanda rattled off her order, which consisted of a $10 drink (she would have three before the night was over), a $12 appetizer and a $30 entrée. Adding dessert and tip she would have just chewed through close to $100! I decided it was time to dive into her pricey culinary habits and make my friend aware of her reality.

“So, this is your favorite place, huh?”

“Oh, definitely – this is THE place to hang on weekends.”

Amanda then proceeded to tell me that she dined at Pricey Rice, or a comparable restaurant, every Friday AND Saturday night! Interesting…

She went on to tell me how she has absolutely NO WAY to get the car she needs – she lives paycheck to paycheck and sees no way to get ahead. Her current car has about a year left before it heads to the junkyard and she cannot figure out how to save for a down payment on a new one in a year’s time – after all, she’s not expecting a raise! She was about to say something else but then turned to a passing waiter and ordered another $10 drink.

“You know what I mean?” she said with tears in her eyes. “I just don’t know how I’ll ever do it.”

It was then I realized that my dear friend was having a total disconnect between her day-to-day life and her big picture goals. The good news for Amanda was that the answer was right in front of her – within the pages of Pricey Rice’s menu, if only her financial vision was good enough to see it.

I grabbed a handful of edamame and prayed my pal would hear me out…